own me. use me. beat me - hard. take me

for many people, Dom/sub or Master/slave is a fun little game that they sometimes play to spice things up, some "kinky" role play to liven up a vanilla sex life.

for others, it -is- life. slutstacie and i fall into that category. D/s, M/s, Owner/owned are not fun little things we do to get our jollies - it's what and who we are. we weren't always this way, although both of us had inklings of it throughout our lives. we discovered this side of ourselves together and now, it's no longer a "side of us"... it's who we are. not that being a Dom or a sub -defines- us, but it's part and parcel of who we are. I'm Dom, her Dom. there is no other way for it to be, no other way it could be. it's natural, it's right. she is sub, owned, slave (although we don't much care for that word) - it's who she is.

i enjoy hurting her, giving her pain, causing her pain. i enjoy using her body for my own amusement. at times, it's difficult to reconcile that with the more conventional me, seemingly at such odds. and yet, giving her pain, the pain she wants and needs, is truly an act of love. slutstacie -belongs- to me. she is my property. i own her. she has given me the gift of herself, her body and her complete submission. her body is my property. her mind is my property. note that i did NOT say her will - for she most certainly has a will of her own. i would not want her as a dishrag with no thoughts, no desires, no needs or ideas of her own. she is a strong, opinionated personality. she is deep and multifaceted and that very complexity is part of what i love about her. it's -because- she's deep and complex that i can take so much pleasure from probing her psyche, finding buttons to push, ways to touch her and push her.

she is a slut. she knows it, has always known it at some level but hasn't let the slut out until just the past couple of years. for us, "slut" has a completely different meaning than the perjorative, degrading connotation it commonly has. for us, slut is a compliment, an honorific, a one word description of a woman of such sexuality, such sexual appetite, such broad and deep interest in sex that her interest in sex and her sex drive far exceeds that of most men. there is literally NOTHING she will not do. okay, kids, animals and shit, but other than that, there's nothing that she would dismiss out of hand as being gross or ewww. she is a very, very sexual woman. part of her sexuality is also submissiveness. again, this is not meek, mousy personality. this is submission - she gives her body to another to use. she willingly, gladly, submits to the strength of another and gladly accepts whatever that person does to her. she accepts and embraces all that being a slut and being a submissive means. while still maintaining her strength of character and will, she also accepts that she is a fucktoy, a slut, a cunt, a whore, nothing more than holes to be fucked. she willingly and gladly accepts being passed around at a party for others to use her.

these can be difficult attitudes to accept all at once. she and i did not jump from the normal, vanilla world to where we are now in one step. we had to get here gradually, finding our way, gradually accepting that we were different than what society "expects" us to be. but being different is not a bad thing. in fact, accepting who we are at our very core has been a liberating, empowering thing. this is a theme i'm sure we'll touch on many more times. we both agree that who we are now, Dom and sub, Master and slave, Owner and owned, sadist and masochist are right, natural, perfectly in balance with the world. by not denying our own truths, we're freed from the stress of hiding it or knowing that something's not quite right.

i could no more go back to "making love" all the time or always asking "is this okay?", "did i hurt you" than i could change lead into gold. i fuck. her body is mine to use. i hurt her because she wants and needs it. i hurt her for no other reason than because i want to, because it's fun, because i -enjoy- hearing her sobs, seeing her cringe, making her cry. do i still make love and be concerned about her? of course. but i'm also, in my own way, making love to her when i slap her face, grab her hair, force her to bend over the back of the couch and then take her ass so hard and fast that she screams in pain. btw, she often cums when she's being severely beaten or taken.

likewise, she could not go back to a life of domestic sex, of monogamy, of insisting that she be treated with caution and tentativeness and such. she is a slut, she knows it and she knows, of her own volition, that her body is a sex toy and meant to be used for fucking. when she's being the party favor, her entire existence, her consciousness is focused on serving the desires of the men and women that are using her. her body is a vessel of pleasure and she works hard to make sure that -anyone- that wants -anything- from her or wants to do -anything- to her is satisfied. by doing so, she is satisfied. she wants to be treated as a slut, a whore, a fucktoy, a cunt, or as she says below, "holes to be fucked".

anyway, some of her words from a chat recently....

Me: (9:19:07): btw, we're in the bathroom.... and you should be on your knees (on this hard, cold tile) sucking my cock, draining the piss and then the cum from your Master's cock

slutstacie: (9:34:13): mmm, hard cold tile and double mmmmmm draining the piss and then the come from my Master's cock

slutstacie: (10:28:09): i want/need to be under Your hand and to be Your property, chained and wearing Your collar

slutstacie: (10:35:17): i want all things my Michael, my sadist, my giver of pain, my Owner wants me to have and wants to give to me

slutstacie: (11:17:04): Master?

Me: (11:17:15): :-) yes?

slutstacie: (11:17:36): i need You

slutstacie: (13:51:00): instead of calling Margaret, can't You call her to come in and watch You beat me? use me? take control of Your property and use her like the fucktoy, whore, cunt, slut, holes to fuck that she is?

Me: (13:51:26): yes, that would certainly be My preference

slutstacie: (13:52:19): mine too (not that it matters of course)

slutstacie: (13:53:24): Master? may i kneel down in front of You and suck Your cock? i need Your cock inside my mouth desperately, and Your hand on the back of my head as well

slutstacie: (13:53:39): please?

slutstacie: (13:54:53): Master, i wonder if You have any idea how much i really need U to hurt me. to use me, to be Your property and for U to fuck me, take me, use me, beat me, hurt me, as often and whenever, however You wish

slutstacie: (15:57:51): Master.... i need You

slutstacie: (15:58:50): Master....

Me: (15:59:02): y?

slutstacie: (15:59:20): i NEED You

slutstacie: (16:00:00): please, own me. use me. beat me - hard. take me

slutstacie: (16:02:46): g-d Master. Michael. i need you to take me, to own me. will you?

slutstacie: (16:03:18): i need to sob at Your hand

slutstacie: (16:08:44): Michael, i am so wet for You. just thinking about being owned by You, my (Your) cunt gets so wet

slutstacie: (16:10:52): mmm, Master's cock should be shoved down my throat right now

Me: (16:11:30): Yes. Then into your ass and back into your mouth

slutstacie: (16:12:25): yes Master, my ass and then mouth

slutstacie: (16:13:23): You know how to use Your cunt very well